My Hypothetical Long Run Twitter Feed

20 miles tomorrow! Clothes out: check. Garmin charged: check. Water bottles filled: check. 9pm bedtime on a Friday night: check. #LongRun

Goodnight, Twitterverse! The morning brings miles upon miles, but a PR is calling! Pain is temporary. Glory is forever. #sacrifice #run 

Good morning, peeps! 4:30am. Dark and early. The life of a runner. LOL. Who's ready to rock?? #20Miles #NoPainNoGain #sacrifice #training

"To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." -Steve Prefontaine #run #letsdothis #blessed

Running community? Heck yeah! Saw @speedylegs262forever and @liveloveruneatsleep in the parking lot. Stretch those hamstrings! #studrunners  

It always takes a mile or two to shake out the legs. Good thing I've got plenty in the hopper! #milesnotlegs #stiff #sore #runnerproblems 

Mental strength = not looking at your Garmin for miles. Estimate halfway done! Patience is a virtue in running, kids. #mentalstrength 

[looks at watch] 4.67 miles @Garmin #satelliteproblems #customerservice 

"Wake me up before you go-go! Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo!" #jitterbug #WHAM! #longrunradio

"I'm starting with the man in the mirror! I'm asking him to chaaaange his waaaaaays!" #TakeALookAtYourselfAndThenMakeAChange #longrunradio 

Find a bathroom. Find a bathroom. Find a bathroom. Find a bathroom. Find some trees. Find some trees. Find some trees. Find a tree. #a #tree

Shout out to the 1st Assembly of God! Specifically, the bathrooms on the lower level. Also, my condolences to the Smith family. #awkward

"Your body is a wonderlaaaaaaaand..." #longrunradio

I HATE JOHN MAYER. #longrunradiofail 

Has that building always been there? The one on Pine and 11th? I've never seen it before. #discovery 

Water bottle refill at mile 8. Shoes squishing. Sweat flying off my elbows. Shorts sticking to my thighs. #hellosummer

Just got passed by a girl dressed head-to-toe in Lululemon. I let it go. She's not running as far as I am. Obvi. #notbitterokayimbitter #saynotolulu

Who is that just ahead? None other than @speedylegs262forever and @liveloveruneatsleep! Twice in one day! #studrunners  

Just passed a cyclist. Waved. He didn't wave back. Why don't they ever wave? Why do they hate runners? #meanpeopleonbikes 

"Woooooah! We're half way there! Wooooah! Livin' on a prayer! Take my hand, we'll make it I swear!" #10milesdown #10togo

No, seriously. Just passed another cyclist. He didn’t wave. Am I mean? Do I look like a communist? #sorryifyoureacyclist #oracommunist

GAAAAAAH. MY IT BAND IS EXPLODING. #wheresmyfoamroller

Now I know how Nancy Kerrigan felt. #WHHHY #WHHHY #sabotage #myITbandisTonyaHarding

Squish. Squish. Squish. Squish. Squish. Squish. #loudshoes #sweatyshoes

"We've got to hold on to what we've got! It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not! We've got each other and that's a lot for love!" 

Why, hello, Salted Caramel GU. I've been waiting for you. #goodness 

Whoever said the first step is the hardest was a dirty rotten liar and I hate him. #obviouslynotarunner #probablydrphil 

What would it be like to run as fast as Meb or Kara or Shalane? CAN YOU IMAGINE?? #wow #dreams #inspire 

Cramp. I've got a cramp. #arewethereyet

"Tommy's got his six-string in hock…” What does that even mean? #mile17musings

Nineteen down. One to go. Oh, how sweet it is! #thisiswhyirun #blessed

Why is this last mile taking so long? @Garmin, are you having satellite issues? Anyone else having this problem? #nowaythatwasonlyonemile 

20! AND THAT'S A WRAP. Solid pace. Felt strong. Could've pushed it a bit more, but wanted to stay relaxed. A day in the life, folks. #boom

I can't feel my left leg. #runnerprobs

Question: I want to take off my shoes, but I can't bend over to untie my laces. Suggestions? #runningcommunity #help

I need chips and salsa. And French fries. And a burrito. And coffee. And pancakes. And a foam roller. And Advil. And ice. And a bed.

Walking is hard. Is walking supposed to be hard? #postlongrunlimp 

“I’ll take the chips and salsa. And French fries. I’m craving salt… because I just ran 20 miles.” #bestpartofrunning20miles #blessed

Cramp. I've got a cramp. #20miles 

Fleet Feet St. Louis tweets at ffstl.

Amy L. Marxkors is the author of The Lola Papers: Marathons, Misadventures, and How I Became a Serious Runner and Powered By Hope: The Teri Griege Story.  Click here to receive Amy's weekly article via email.