Fear and Loathing on the roads and trails of MIT

Train the Brain

Fear and Loathing on the roads and trails of MIT

Jody Davis, RN, LISW-S

My first marathon was Flying Pig in Cincinnati in 2011.  I was proud of finishing on my first try, and thought I’d never run another marathon.  Fast forward to 2023, and I finished the race 46 minutes slower.  Rather than appreciate all the challenges I’d overcome to get there, I was disappointed in myself.  Despite aging, different hormones, and nagging foot pain, I was disappointed by not beating my 2011 time. 

Does this sound familiar?  What can people like us do to “save ourselves” from perfectionism?  What can we do if circumstances happen, and we miss a training day?  Or make bad food decisions?  Maybe we’re falling into the comparison trap with those around us.

From the perspective of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), there are 12 main disorders in our thoughts.  One of them is known as “All or Nothing.”  Either we get a PR every race, or it didn’t matter.  We nail every speed workout, or we’re quitting on ourselves. It’s easy to see the problem in this way of thinking in others, but not always so easy in ourselves.  The good news is it’s more of a trend than an individual day or workout.  That’s also the bad news.  Completing one 10 or 20 miler is not a guarantee of success.

The only true guarantee is failure if you allow a bad day to end your season.  “Catastrophic thinking” is when someone imagines a worst-case scenario.  When I’m close to a DNF, the panic sets in, that if I fail at this, I will fail at everything.  That besides my best efforts, I really am a poser, and a loser and afraid people will find out! 

But being afraid to fail or quitting after a tough day is how we really fail.  Time and distance goals are certainly common, and they can be very motivating.  What I really want is to Run Happy, no matter the distance or the outcomes.  I really want to Live Happy, too.  I don’t want to waste time on self-loathing anymore.  I am a runner and a loving person who deserves love.  How about you?

Jody is a nurse in an outpatient clinic at OSU Wexner Medical Center, a part time social worker at Columbus’ V.A., and does counseling online.  Jody lives in Columbus in a blended family with her wife Jen and 3 kids, 3 dogs, and a mortgage.